Have you noticed that we all encounter the same world, but no one perceives it the same way? Which one has the right to decide what is right?
Most people have a similar perception that makes it possible to create a norm. The norm becomes what is known as the right thing. The truth is that the norm can be the opposite in relation to truth. Worst case scenario is that what we call the truth actually is a lie.
Every indigenous people and now existing religion speak about double realities. One seen and one unseen. The unseen usually called the true reality that governs everything and will rule in the end. One way to eliminate this thought is by saying that the unseen is a fantasy. It is only what we actually can see that is true. Who is right? What we actually see can be perceived in many different ways. My husband and I were choosing colors for two of our rooms. We had different perceptions of the color. Who was right?
In fact, humans live side by side in their own reality and a reality created as a normality by some. For most people this is not problematic. The norm does not differ so much from ones own reality which makes it possible to shift and handle the difference between the two intuitively. For some this is like living in a combat zone. If it becomes to difficult the brain will eventually give up as the difference between ones own experience and the normative is to vast. What happens then? What has happened in my life?
I have always noticed that I experience what I encounter different from others. Not so much that I didn’t talk as a child, but enough to always live in a confusing world I don’t understand, am familiar with, feel connected to or can handle.
Autism is often explained as being another perspective. How things taste, smell, is viewed, sounds and feels differs. I can’t change that and it creates another form of communicating with everything around me. In the neuropsychiatric assessment I underwent it states that I think in a practical and straight forward way therefore having difficulties with a more intangible way of thinking. In real life this makes the different worlds I live in something I can learn to understand as I create very practical questions in how to relate to and within them. I don’t easily glide between them, I am in them or not and I cannot be in both simultaneously. One world is the one I am a part of and the other is the one I daily confront and don’t understand. The constant change between the two takes energy and is tiresome, but I always know where I am. In the world commonly called realty I am and have always been a stranger. There is a possibility to see my perspective when someone looks into my pictures because there is where I am.
The morning after I asked Jesus to take over my life I woke up with a totally new worldview. I have no idea how that was possible. Someone had rearranged my brain and everything I encountered I suddenly saw in another way. It was as if I, for the first time saw something complete and logical.
My own experience of being thirty years and suddenly waking up seeing the world in a way I didn’t know existed makes if impossible for me to deny Jesus. Writing that I have to admit it has been a real challenge trying to understand who He is and what He has done for us. By not understanding I have denied Him. I wish I could write that meeting other believers have helped me to understand Him, but the sum of what I have met in congregations and churches is only confusing and weird. During the years a fear of Him grew within me resulting in nights where I just sat and shivered of anxiety.
People tell me what I can do and how I am, but it’s obvious to me that no one knows me. I know that I am just as limited as they are and that truth is hard to deal with. I want to understand just as much as they claim they do. My experience is that this is what we do to others and towards God. When we do it towards others we limit the possibility to exchange and understand. The worst thing that can happen is that I violate and hurt in the same way I am violated and hurt when others do that to me. God is different. He knows the source. He knows how limited we are and has a different perspective and a different solution. When I gave up my own limited view of Him He didn’t violate and hurt me. He started to show me how He perceives me and our situation. The veil was taken away and for the first time I saw the way.
When the veil was taken of the door to God and His world opened – the world of grace, forgiveness and reconciliation.
”while the sun’s light failed. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two.”
”But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed.”
2 Corinthians 3:16